Happy New Year followers and fellow bloggers. Today is also my birthday, so Happy Birthday to me. I am the great 21 years of age. There are so many things I can now do LEGALLY, so obviously I’m going to do what I always do: Read, Eat and Sleep.
There’s a change or two I’m planning on making to my posting routine. I’ll outline them in a separate post at a later time once I have made my final decisions.
The last time I had a year this good was back in 2009 when I was in grade 9. That year was filled with so many memories and awesome experiences. I’m glad to say that 2015 proved to be even better. Maybe I’m not a social person anymore but I’d take being a bookworm, an introvert and a hermit over socialising any day. So, without further adieu, let’s get cracking.
City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare.
I read this mid-2015 and enjoyed it so much. I started and completed The Mortal Instruments this year and loved every moment, every page. I held this gigantic book in my hands and couldn’t put it down. The story grabbed onto my heart and it’s hasn’t let go. There’s not a character in here that I disliked. Even the ones who are so bad, you want to smack them. Cassie has definitely become one of my favourite authors and I hope that I’ll continue to love her books for years to come.
“Vanity is a factor, but it is more a question of control. It is easier to trick others into perceiving you as beautiful if you can convince yourself you are beautiful. But mirrors have an uncanny way of telling the truth.” ~ Marissa Meyer (Cinder)
It’s not easy to choose a favourite moment when I so often am only pretending to be happy. Then again, a favourite moment does not need to be a happy one. It could be an epiphany, something that came out of the blue. Or even a time when I felt at peace. This year I developed this new thing where I don’t think of the past, or too far into the future. The past hurt too much, and the future gave me panic attacks. I don’t think I have any one specific moment that was my favourite because none of them stood out for me. It was all the small things combined that makes my favourite moment. The realisation that the Ant-Man movie wasn’t as bad as people thought it was going to be (I had no doubt about that, I mean, it’s Marvel), the day I created my blog and that started being my outlet. It really has calmed me down. The moment I decided to shed my tomboy side and embrace the girly girl I was becoming (it’s not bad to be a tomboy. I was ridiculed all my life and I wasn’t around many open minded people. I kept being called a boy and it was difficult to change after living a lifetime that one way). So no, I do not have one favourite moment. I have little bits and pieces of different things that happened throughout the year that just makes me say: thank you.
I took part in NaNoWriMo this year and thoroughly enjoyed it. I did not complete it but the ride was still fun. I was supposed to complete another of my stories but I had gotten so busy that I put it aside. Granted, at the beginning of the year I did put out a notice that I would be taking a sabbatical. That didn’t go over to well with my readers and I was persuaded to come out when I was only 2 months in. Writing is my joy and passion, so I don’t mind. I just don’t ever want it to become a job where other people dictate when and how I should do my work.
My accomplishment for this year is my recovery. Since 2013 I’ve had major anxiety and the road has not been a lovely one. I’ve also had depression since I was 15, which is now almost 6 years. I don’t count myself as 100% fully recovered but I’m proud to even consider myself partially recovered. I haven’t had any panic attacks in nearly 6 months (my longest was 10 months but I got a triggering message around that time). I used to react violently whenever I had an attack i.e. punch walls, the ground, anything that made me feel some kind of pain to distract myself from the actual attack. It worked for quite a while but the last one I had in May of 2014, I punched with my writing hand and it took me months to even be able to write with a pen for more than 20 minutes. Writing is extremely important to me. It’s part of who I am. I stopped punching things after that. I’ve always considered myself slightly broken but now I don’t see myself as that anymore. I’m mostly fixed and if there are imperfections, it’s okay because not everything is perfect. I’m only human. I’ve had so many things that helped me this year and I’m thankful. I still shake when something goes awry but I can manage. I’ve cut out most of the bad apples in my life and I’m ready to move forward and be the new me. The healthier me. When people say ‘It gets better’ I never believed it, I still don’t. I don’t consider my life better than what it was before but I’ve managed to work around it. ‘Accept the things I can’t change’ and all that. Here’s to living life one day at a time.
You do you.
That’s it. I’ve been living by these three words all year and it’s been great. I’ll ask my cousin for advice and he’d shrug and say ‘You do you’ and I’d go and do what I planned.
I usually set my goal 2 or 3 months into the year. I don’t have a plan as yet. 2015’s goal was to read 100 books and I surpassed that.